10 things you don’t say to pregnant women!

Things you don't say

Being Pregnant I come across a lot of weird comments that are personal, funny and some are just plain rude! That’s what inspired me to write this post, to share some of the funny comments that were said to me and what not to say to a pregnant women, Just in case you didn’t know, or wasn’t aware.

One time I was at a coffee shop and a guy asked me what trimester I was in, I hesitated because I was NEVER asked that question,  (I was just entering my 3rd trimester.) He explained to me that his wife was also pregnant, and was in the same trimester. I thought that was cute!

Below is a video I also put together to express how frustrated I was feeling at the time because of all the crazy comments I was getting. This is even a lesson for me to be a more sensitive to pregnant women as well, to encourage them, because you don’t know their situation, also having a baby at any age, no matter how many you have, can be scary.

Let me know if these are some comments you have said or have been said to you!

   1. “Are you having twins/triplets? You look huge!” (Yeah, this is a comment every pregnant women looks forward to, a reminder of how huge she looks!)

   2. “Did this happen before or after the deployment?” (I know being in the military community this is a common practice, after deployments usually a lot of spouses get pregnant, but don’t you think this is kind of personal?!)

   3. You’re done now, right? (This is after they find out I already have 8yr old twins.)

   4. How much weight have you gained so far? ( I know I have asked pregnant

   5. You sure are going to have your hands full! (Its always nice to have encouragement!)

   6. Get all the sleep you can right now! (Sleep?! what is that? Being pregnant, you don’t get a lot of sleep anyway!)

   7. You’re breastfeeding, right? (I’m always surprised people ask this question this way. I had twins and was never able to breastfeed my son and it was devastating and a lot of work for me having boy and girl twins. I was only able to nurse my daughter, and give the bottle to my son, It’s hurtful when people say it like this when they don’t know a person’s personal history/story.)

  8. Just think how hot it will be this summer when you have her! (Or: “You poor thing you will be pregnant during the summer!” (I Live in San Diego, CA not a humid place like South Carolina or Florida!)

 9. YOU DON’T want to hear about people’s pregnant horror stories, (that’s just not good for anyone!)

10. The famous one of all: WOW! You’re BIG! You sure your not having twins again? (I almost expect this when I go out, the stares and the comments, who wants to hear that?!)

 

48 thoughts on “10 things you don’t say to pregnant women!

  1. I love your list! It always amazed me what people thought was “acceptable” to say when I was pregnant. If you wouldn’t say it to a non-pregnant woman, why would you ask me??? I always hated when people (strangers) asked to touch my belly! Yuck!!

  2. Some people just don’t think before they open their mouth. I am not surprised that you’ve gotten more comments because of having twins prior. My aunt had twins and then a younger girl, and the youngest girl just had a baby this summer and just because her siblings were twins, she got SO many “I bet its twins…!” type comments, even at 8 months pregnant when she was 100% sure it wasn’t twins. I think people just said it to be playful but it’s not nice to suggest that someone is SO big it must be twins – thats just rude.

  3. Pingback: Blogelina’s 2013 Commentathon Event – Group #7 | Blogelina

  4. Honestly, what is wrong with people? Nice, polite people suddenly lose their filter when they see a pregnant woman. I loved the backhanded compliment I received from my mother-in-law when I was pregnant: “Thank goodness you gained all this weight. I was afraid you were too skinny to have a healthy baby!” I kid you not. (And I wasn’t that skinny to begin with. Trust me.) ;-) You look gorgeous and glowing with baby radiance!

  5. My favorite was “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” Usually starting when I was barely in the third trimester. I always looked like I had a basketball under my clothes. It didn’t help that my babies dropped weeks before my due date, making me look like I was farther along than I was. Also fun was “Don’t you know what causes that?” Some of these comments are funny the first time or two, but after about the 396th time, I want to smack someone. It’s justified, right?

  6. LOL, my all time favorite was when I was 8 or 9 months someone asked me, “are you sure you want to have this baby?” I felt like saying, “no you’re right we changed our minds about the 6th month but we figured we were this far in, we mind as well suck it up!” I couldn’t believe someone would ask that!

  7. Oh man! It’s crazy what people think they can say – and get away with – to pregnant women! Sometimes it can be downright insulting too, and you just never know how to answer!

  8. Lol! You’re right, great post! People should be much more considerate and keep their negative comments to themselves. Or only say positive comments, because most of them probably don’t realize that they’re being hurtful. Best of luck!!

  9. Yes, pregnancy is a very touchy subject. I’ve had the No. 10 comment said to me. I was on my third pregnancy and hadn’t lost all the baby weight from the previous pregnancy so of course I tended to look bigger than usual but a little sensitivity wouldn’t hurt folks! No need to state the obvious. Great post!

  10. Ahh, yes – the things people say to pregnant women. Some people have no filter. The comment that bothered me the most (yes, it happened more than once) is when people asked if my pregnancy was planned. Really?!?

    Elizabeth
    PINKx3.com

  11. I remember running into Walmart for diapers a week after having my son. The cashier asked me when I was due!!!! I think I cried once I was back in the car with the hubs. That was 27 years ago but I still remember it! :)

    When my daughter was pregnant with her first child, a lady at church said, “I just can’t believe how wide you’ve become!” I mean, really!

    I just can’t believe how rude some people can be. Great list, by the way!

  12. Fellow twin mom here, so YES, I have been asked all of those and worse. With boy/girl twins, have you had someone ask you if they’re identical (idiots!). Now that I’ve been through a huge baby (10 1/2 lbs) and a set of twins, I’m so much more supportive of pregnant women. I always try to say something nice, compliment her in some way, because I know it makes a difference to combat all the dumb questions out there.

    You look lovely, by the way :) You really have that “glow” in the photo above.

  13. Hahaha you know, so many people have said these same points. I think I have been lucky that I have only heard two out of the things you have said during my pregnancies. Though one time I was asked by someone “are you pregnant?” I’m like nooooo I’m just 38 weeks fat. LOL
    I don’t know why people have to comment or be rude sometimes toward a pregnant woman. Not like it’s the first time they have seen one, ya know?
    Thanks for linking up with The Mom Diaries

  14. I remember my pregnancy even though it was 14 years ago. The horror stories–especially the ones shared with me early on in my pregnancy–were downright terrifying to me. It was my first pregnancy, for goodness sakes! Don’t tell me about your troubles!!!!

    Now, when I talk to someone who’s pregnant, I might ask them when they’re due date is supposed to be, but usually that’s only if it’s someone I know won’t mind me asking. I know if it were me, I would want others to be encouraging. So I’d say something like “I remember how exciting it was for me to be pregnant! And how much I wanted to hold my baby in my arms and look at his sweet little face and fingers and toes! It really is worth the wait!” :)

  15. Oh sweet Mama, bless your little heart! I understand what you mean. It never ceases to amaze me that people say what they do……complete STRANGERS too. haha

    Number 1, Thank you for being a military wife! We appreciate your hubby’s service to our country and YOUR service to our country as well.

    Number 2, I loved videos even if people are venting because you are sharing your story and everyone’s story is different. You will have this piece of your family’s history forever to laugh and share with your kids one day.

    Number 3, I love the name of your blog.

    Number 4, Hang in there sweet spirit. God has you in the palm of His hand and will get you through this exhausing time and it will all be a memory soon. Hang on to those kiddos because time passes sooo quickly!
    blessings,
    Shan
    http://www.The-How-to-Guru.com

  16. OMG, what’s wrong with people?! I certainly approve of crazy replies to these comments. I think I’ve never said any of these things myself, but I might be guilty of something similar like #3. As I had never been pregnant myself (not yet, although I’m considering it in the near future), I wonder what pregnant women DO like to hear. Would you prefer that others wouldn’t talk about pregnancy at all? I usually ask pregnant friends about some practical info (to make mental notes for future-me), but they may be tired of talking about it? However, I would never comment pregnancy of a woman I don’t even know. That’s totally crossing the line.

  17. I love your list and, sadly, those comments are SO common! It’s like people lose their filter when they see a pregnant lady… I got so many negative “just you wait til” and rude comments! It was definitely an eye-opener for me.

    So my goal is to encourage preggo ladies I see in the future! Pregnancy is enough of a emotional/physical/mental roller coaster itself; the best thing we can do is speak Truth to those women and build them up. Babies are SO worth it :)

  18. You know, I didn’t get too many rude comments or inappropriate ones. Not sure why. Maybe I just had the look of “Don’t mess with me.” The weirdest I got was one day, after work, I was in the grocery store, 7 months pregnant, in my business suit and heels and this older guy says “I just love looking at pregnant women.” EWWW!!!

  19. I would add as number 11 – are you going with or without drugs? Having had 3 c-sections, I didn’t appreciate having to hear that I should try to go natural.

    Try to relax. Though some of the worst offenders are women, remember that its been a long time and things are very different now than they were then.

    Hang in there. This is a precious time. Ignore the nay-sayers. :-)

  20. I have one to add to the list, although it doesn’t apply to pregnant women. Never, ever ask someone how far along they are unless you are SUUURREE they’re pregnant! I did this once, and boy was it embarrassing! Also, when I was pregnant, towards the end, I got annoyed at pretty much any question anyone asked me about the pregnancy. After hearing, “when are you due,” or “is it a girl or boy?” about 500 times, it can get on your nerves!

  21. Great list!! It made me smile but I do remember the feeling! The worse comment I’ve heard was “Was it planned? because you know… your 2 daughters are already a lot older…” Oh well, my oldest was 10 years old and the 2nd was 8 :-)

  22. This is a cute list. I have had 4 kids and honestly can’t remember things people may have said during the pregnancy, because as soon as the little one was placed in my arms, it all was forgotten. Congrats on your new baby.

  23. Nice list, interesting post. Always people have to say something like that. I just remember 10 years ago someone ask me Are you fat??? Wow i just get frustated.

  24. Ahhh, yes. The comments. I remember people would say things to me like, “You just keep getting bigger.” Oh, thank you for that reminder. Sigh. It seems like you can’t win. I gained a lot and got a lot of “concerned” glances from family and my sister gained nothing and got a lot of “concerned” glances. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion whether you want to hear it or not. Hope things go well for you.

  25. This is a funny post! I can totally relate – I was pregnant with triplets (only made it to 28 weeks though). Anyhow, I’m sure you also get the mom of multiples questions, especially with B/G twins… are they identical? Wow, they don’t look like twins… HA!

  26. So true! It’s funny how people feel like they can say anything to a pregnant woman. What is it about being pregnant that puts us “off limit” to normal tact?

  27. It’s amazing what people say without thinking! People really need to think it through before saying in, all though it’s always good if you can laugh it off right? Great post! :)

  28. Haha! Great list and so true! When I was pregnant, I was bigger than a house and certainly didn’t need to be told (yet I was constantly reminded by strangers’ comments)! And your #6 point about sleep made me laugh. It’s not like you can bank up hours of sleep to use after the baby is born. Even if you could, 3rd trimester sleep is elusive. Hang in there Sweet Mama! Wishing you a smooth delivery and transition into newborn days!

  29. Wow never heard the trimester question either. I guess because pregnancy was a part of his current reality he was aware.

    I think the twins remark might be based on your previous pregnancies.

    The deployment is kind of personal but I totally understand that one having a friend who is married to a service man.

    I hated hearing poor you or horror filled or regretful pregnancy stories especially with my first pregnancy. You already have a fearful and worrisome mind why add to that?

    Blessings to you and your little one. :)

  30. It amazes me how rude people can be. The sad part is when they really see nothing wrong with the things they say. I had all types of comments when I was pregnant but I was on the other side of comments. When I was 9 months I only looked like I was 5 months. That brought crazy comments and of course, people wanting to touch my stomach. I’m with the ladies above, that is creepy from a stranger. smh

  31. I chuckled while reading your post because I remember hearing at least a few of those comments/questions while I was pregnant. Sometimes people don’t realize how what they are saying sounds to the person they are saying it to!

  32. People say the craziest things! I remember when I was pregnant with my son, an older man asked me if I was having twins. When I responded with no, he told me I should go have another ultrasound because I was too big to just have one in there. I laugh now, but boy did that make me upset then!

  33. Soooo true!!! When I was pregnant, I was on the smaller side so I would get annoyed when people would ask when I was due and then would respond ‘oh wow, you’re little, are you sure that’s when you’re due?’

  34. This was an entertaining, cute post, but now I feel bad because I constantly asked my best friend if she was sure she was having twins or not…I now wonder how she must have felt about that. She’s got a really good sense of humor but probably didn’t want to hear it a million times…from her never-had-children-before friend. I was actually really serious though…she was huge. Oops…that was #1.

  35. It amazes me how some people don’t think before they speak! Don’t they know that a pregnant woman is all hormonal while she is growing a human!? They should take extra care when talking to a pregnant woman! I heard many funny things like that when I was pregnant and sometimes I just smiled and responded in my head with a “really? Did you just say that?” haha!

  36. I’ve never – in all my life, not even from the high school “mean girls” – felt as judged as I did when I was pregnant. I can’t believe some of the things people tell you!!

    Word of wisdom – if you don’t know the pregnant lady, keep your advice to yourself. The only appropriate things to say to a pregnant woman you don’t know are:

    Here, you go first.
    Please, take MY seat.
    Let me get that for you.

    That’s enough :)

  37. I totally agree!!! Having just been pregnant, I know what it feels like when people make those awkward comments. Even though they didn’t often tell me I was huge, sometimes it was just those “you better sleep now, cuz you sure won’t later” comments that really drove me crazy! Hello, I would if I could!!! I just hope I’m always sensitive to other pregnant women since I know what it’s like to be there! :)

  38. Usually I do not learn post on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do so!

    Your writing style has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great article.
    My Profile

  39. The worst comment I received was from one family member… I realize now that not many people share their news until after the 12th week, but we were just SO EXCITED that we told our families as soon as we found out, and a lot of close friend, too. Well, one relative said, “How far along are you?” and when she realized it was so soon, she said, “I don’t want to scare you, but most people wait until the 12th week before sharing, due to the high risk of miscarriage in the first trimester…”. REALLY? And then, she went on to tell me about her two miscarriages, which I already (obviously) knew about… but I most definitely did not need to hear about them again during my own pregnancy! :/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge