Speaking Life to Your Husband
I admit it, I’m kind of a Negative Nelly. My immediate reaction to almost any obstacle is annoyance. I get road rage frequently. I tend to be suspicious of people and their motives.
God has really been working on my heart in this area, and I’ve made some great improvements with His help, but I’m just sharing what my natural inclination tends to be.
No one has experienced the depths of my cynicism more than my husband. Oh, my husband. He’s pretty much my opposite. He’s an eternal optimist. He is very patient and kind and makes friends everywhere he goes.
For a long time I did not realize the power my words. I didn’t realize that my biting words were cutting to the very core of him. I guess in my mind I didn’t think it was a big deal. I was just venting. My husband knows he’s amazing and that I love him, he can handle some negativity. Right?? Right?! But no, I was wrong.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Death and life. I had been speaking death to my husband. I was making him feel bad about himself, bringing him down, making him doubt himself. I was making him feel unworthy and less-than. That is not the type of wife I wanted to be. After all, I wouldn’t want my husband to bring me down. I wanted his support, his love. I wanted him to believe in me. And he wanted – needed – these things from me as well.
And so I made the decision to speak life. I learned to hold my tongue. I learned to really open my eyes and see my husband as Jesus sees him. I learned to appreciate all the little things my husband does. I learned to look past his flaws. To be honest, I’m still learning.
It’s made a world of difference in our marriage. It feels lighter, happier, lovelier. I feel more in love with my husband, and I feel more loved by him. Our marriage no longer feels like a drudgery – and yes, it was a drudgery for a while there. But now, it’s a joy. A simple switch in my attitude and manner of speaking has breathed new life into our relationship.
Of course, we still have our problems. We still slip up. I sometimes find myself taking my anger out on him and using words I shouldn’t. But these days I catch myself and I try to make it right as soon as possible.
Try it, ladies. Tell your husband how handsome he looks. Thank him for taking out the garbage. Tell him you appreciate how hard he works to provide for your family. Build him up. Encourage him. See that he will rise to the occasion. By affirming him he will want to be a better man for you. Speak life to your husband. There is power in your words.
Kristel Acevedo is a wife, mother, and blogger living in Miami, FL. She loves reading, eating, and spending time with the people she loves. You can connect with her on twitter, facebook, and instagram. Follow along with her blog at www.kristelacevedo.com where she writes about family, faith, and all the fun in between.