Hello there! †I am Bijee (a.k.a ìBî), and I am so honored to be here with you at †A Purpose Driven Wife. †My†greatest blessings are my†friends and family, which consists of my†husband and two children. I †don’t take lightly to being a good wife, mother, daughter, and friend. The ultimate goal is to be a role model to my†children and a good woman to my†longtime best friend and husband. I†strive to show my†daughter what a good woman looks like and to model what my†son should be looking for when the time comes. This attitude and approach is outlined and guided by Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. †You can find me at The Reflections of a Good Woman where I blog about Faith, Family, Friendship and balancing life. †
So many women and even men (although they most likely won’t admit it) envision their wedding day, long before they have their potential spouse, a ring, or any sort of promise to stand on.
They think about things like the venue, the outfit, the colors, and who will they ask to be in it.
But what IS important is the marriage, the substance of the commitment made. You know the part where you say,
Yea that part.
It’s the part that gets MISSED IN THE BLISS.
I have just come up with some things that you don’t stop to think about when you are excitedly saying I do.
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD – DEATH DO US PART
Not sure if many realize what this time span really looks like. It can be the longest portion of your life depending on how long you have the luxury of being here on earth. In the words of Buzz Lightyear, it is the to “infinity and beyond” kind of timeframe. That my friends, is a LONG TIME!
When there are issues within your spouse’s family that may directly or indirectly involve them and possibly cause them to have to balance between tending to their duties at home and then the issue at hand.
Times such as this can end up causing resentment, a spouse to feel unattended to, a souse feeling burdened. It can lead to miscommunications and even arguments.
Death of a loved one
I have to be honest, I thought about this one, but at the same time, I didn’t, and unfortunately we are living this unreal reality at the very moment that I type this. It’s never a good space to be in, but because we are all only here but for a time, it is inevitable that this will be something you face in your marriage.
When there is an unexpected death in the family (or even sometimes with one you foresaw coming) things like paying for burial expenses, tending to the business of the deceased, potentially having to take in family members if they had children are all things that go beyond the initial hurt of the death. It does not end when the services are over; in fact that is when it really begins.
Time such as this can cause miscommunication, distance between each other if one spouse isn’t being supportive and the grieving spouse is not allowing themselves to open up. It can cause arguments over finances, time commitments and many other things.
Troubles in parenting
Parenting troubles can be true for the traditional AND blended family.
For the traditional family, there is an adjustment that comes with expanding your family and no doubt an increase in responsibility, while there is a decrease in alone time, sleep time, and finances. These can all present challenges within a marriage especially in the early on time with a new baby and all their requirements.
For blended families, there can be issues with the children feeling they now have to share their parent, not feeling like they fit into the family, resentment for not having both biological parents and many other things.
Spouses (the non-biological parent) may struggle with the proper disciplining tactics, demanding respect, dealing with the ex, setting rules and boundaries and just overall the responsibility of taking on someone elses child.
Loss of employment
In these economic times that we live in, even the most stable of our professions can be flagged unstable and in jeopardy in nothing short of a flash.
I learned this recently with the government furloughs followed by the government shutdown. My employment dynamic changed in those times and government work is said to be one of the most stable jobs you can have.
When your financial dynamic changes and your spouse is no longer able to afford you the lifestyle that you have grown accustomed too, will love be enough? Will you still be holding on until “infinity and beyond” at that point?
Within the family
When a loved one becomes sick, it may require your spouse to have to make some provisions to help out, whether it is to be away more to take care of the relative, or possibly even moving them into your home.
If that happens, it can cause some discomfort in the relationship, as the spouse may expect you to help or be supportive and it also changes the dynamics of how you run your household. There could be resentment and possibly even feelings of abandonment.
Of a spouse
If your spouse becomes sick and no longer able to hold up their end financially, around the house and potentially becomes your burden to bear, will you still say I do?
In sickness and in health, goes beyond the common cold and sinus infection. What happens if a spouse is diagnosed with a disease that requires intense medical treatment or has an accident that leaves them permanently handicapped?
Something like this can change the financial dynamics as well as how you spend your free time.
LOVING AND CHERISHING
This does not just mean, I will love you as long as you continue to smile like you do now, keep your hair nice and smelling good, as long as you don’t gain any weight and you stay just as you are. Nope! It also means even in times of your spouse being unlovable you are to honor them, not speak bad of them, and present them as blameless.
Can you do that when you get mad?
I just point all of these things out to you because they are often times MISSED IN THE BLISS. This is something for the singles to think about beforehand and the couples to remember what they committed to?
Husbands are you loving your church? Wives are you submitting to your Lord?
To find out more about Bijee, you can find her at: