This is the hardest post for me to write but sharing my heart helps. If you are new to my blog, I’m a military spouse, married to a marine, we have three children together, (Tween) boy and girl twins and our “Semi newest addition” 2 almost 3-year-old baby girl.
A New Season
I’ve been a parent now for over 10+ years and I’m entering into a new season of growth as a parent. My twins are entering into that tween and teen stage and attitudes are at an all time high.
During this season my husband is away for six months. My children are not new to deployments. My husband deploys a lot, my children grew up with him working hard.
This season is hard for me because I’m always questioning my parenting abilities. I want to train up my children in the teachings of the word of God (Proverbs 22:6), so I take it day by day.
When your son says to you (Out of the blue), “Why should I respect you?” the question he has asked my mom, his grandmother and even his father. He asked this question as a serious, “I’m not being treated fair” question.
How do you deal with that? I talk, and talk and talk, pray, share the word of God and try to live out the word, but I still feel like I failed as a parent. What do I do? How do I teach a child to respect you?
I didn’t grow up in a christian household and have no idea what that looks like. At the same time I want to teach my children God’s word and share with them the freedom that God’s word bring, especially in today’s world.
1 Corinthians 13 Parent
I’m so thankful to come across this book by Lori Wildenberg and Becky Danielson, called: Raising Big kids with supernatural love. This book came at such the right time in my life because I had no tools in my belt, other than prayer and reading this book helped me in so many ways.
This book answers the question, what does love look like when going through tough circumstances with your tweens or teens. It reveals qualities of love to infuse into your family, by bringing 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter in the bible, to life in parenting your children.
This book really encouraged me and has helped put some of the strategies mentioned into practice. One of the tools they mention in the book is patience. Patience being the foundational quality when showing love to your tweens or teens. One of the things I practice is patience with both of my twins and the different perspective, the word of God and other parent’s stories, similar to what I’m going through helped encourage me.
One of the most powerful things that was mentioned was about patience during the attitudes, the rolling eyes, stubbornness, the big sighs, etc, is that, It’s self-control in an out of control circumstance. I LOVE that because I don’t have the answers to different situations, I turn on that patience button, pray and give it to God.
Today, I still take it day by day and continue to pray for my children. I’m still dealing with attitudes, big sighs and rolling eyes but I now have tools and strategies, that I know will help, It won’t be an overnight success, this will be a Journey that I’m now prepared for. If you are in a similar situation as me, know that you are not alone. I recommend this book to anyone, who is looking to gets tools and strategies for your child(ren). This book will teach you:
- Realizing the difference between kindness and enabling
- Discover how to adjust your parenting approach
- Increase family cohesiveness
- Put respect back into your family
- Replace rivalry with relationship
- Deal with your anger (and your child’s)
- Provide tools for your young person regarding temptation and more!
For more information about the authors and books, check out their: